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Thursday, May 9, 2013

29 pounds and losing...

If you keep up with me on Facebook, then you've probably seen my posts at least once or twice about losing weight. I've battled weight almost the entirety of my life. I was fat in elementary school, middle school and early high school. By late 10th grade, I'd starved myself--literally, skipping meals, and sometimes only eating once a day--into a size 6, and 105 pounds. I don't recommend this method of weight loss!!!!! So weight's been an issue all of my life. In the last 5 years, I've tried a little bit of everything to get the pounds off--except for starvation; I wasn't going that route again. Weight Watchers. Calorie counting. Adkins. Herbalife. Even the B12 and B6 shots. I added exercise and while I'd lose 5-10 pounds, I'd stall out afterward. Frustration became my best friend, until I gave up and packed on the weight. Depressed eating and a sedentary lifestyle had me at 183 pounds and I'm only 5'3", so I was considered obese by medical standards. I can't believe I admitted that, but weight is the number, my mindset is the problem. My habits are an even bigger problem.

In January of this year I decided to start a "life change" and take off the extra weight for good. I didn't care if it took me 2 years to lose 50 pounds, I just wanted to do it healthy this time. I have mitral valve prolapse (MVP), which is a heart condition where the mitral valve in my heart doesn't work properly and allows blood to seep out of the valve. My cardiologist encourages me every year to lose weight, but at the very least exercise 30 minutes a day and lower my cholesterol. By January 2013, I was having issues regularly with my MVP, my cholesterol was over 200 and my doc was talking medication to lower my cholesterol (I take a pill for my MVP, but I hate popping pills so adding another was a depressing though). On top of that, I was exhausted all the time, not motivated to do anything, not even write. Twelve hours of sleep a night wasn't helping. Going up a flight of stairs to my bedroom winded me to the point my husband was remarking on it. My self-esteem bottomed out, I didn't care what I looked like, so I rarely tried to look nice. I knew something had to be done. And soon because I was killing myself.

My cardiologist just wanted me to exercise, but because I insisted on a program to help with my weight, he suggested Bariatrics. I hate asking for help. I mean, seriously, despise asking for help. I think subconsciously I see it as a weakness in myself, even though I never mind helping others and I'm eager to help friends. By the time I ask for help, I should've asked ages ago. So making that call in January to Bariatrics was hard because I was asking for help with something I'd failed at on my own time and time again. Another blow to my self-esteem.

Since January I've lost 29 pounds with a semi-exercise program, by semi I mean I'm rarely consistent. Today was my 4 month weigh-in and I gained 4 ounces. That was tough to take. I hadn't gained weight since I started the program and I'd done everything I'd been doing for the past 4 months. But maybe it's what I need to focus consistently on my exercise.

Side note: Even my complexion has improved and I don't look tired all the time any more. It's amazing what healthy nutrition can do for you.

So...you want to see me after 4 months and 29 pounds? Here ya go, the new me, with hopefully a newer me to come in the months to follow:

(Had to change shirts because the other one is too big now)

4 comments:

Becca Dale said...

Wow - 29 pounds less looks fantastic on you, Gracen. Way to go!

andie said...

impressive, WTG!

Book Chatter Cath said...

LOVE your facial expressions - check how much happier you look!!
Well done :)

BellaBunnell said...

I'm so proud of you and you're looking great. You're beautiful inside and out. Keep it up. Soon you'll feel better than you ever have. I commend you for taking this challenge on--- for all the right reasons, for yourself and your precious family. LOVE you! <3 huggles <3